Google: New God on Mount Olympus

Since Google is the new Greek god of all information, both useful and useless, I appeal to him for the most mundane things. Well, especially when I'm overtired or bored.

I love how the "suggestions" list pops up when I'm doing a search. Sometimes I think "Exactly! I couldn't have phrased it better myself!"

Other times I just shake my head. Like today, for example.

As impatient as I am, I decided to Google "how long Home Depot delivery take" because I'm going to Home Depot in about an hour to see about buying a new washer and dryer. I got as far in my search box as "how lon" before that good old suggestion box popped up. I don't know if they're based on most popular searches or not, but I got a good laugh.

1. how long does weed stay in your system

2. how long does it take to get a passport

3. how long does alcohol stay in your system

4. how long does it take to get pregnant

5. how long to boil corn on the cob

6. how long to boil an egg

So, instead of finishing my search, my imagination starts to run away with me.

Picture a guy waking around 3 pm on a Saturday. The details of the night before are very fuzzy, but as flashes of memory begin to flit through his numb brain he groans. Head pounding as he stumbles to the computer, he types the first question because, hey, he has a job interview on Monday. More flashes of memory...he remembers how he got that weed...so he looks up the second question. The ticking of the clock is like nails driving into his skull and his brain so full of cotton that he types the third question. Then, wincing as he remembers other stupid decisions he made, he types the fourth.

A growling rumble interrupts his searching and his thoughts turn to food. Rummaging in the fridge, he extracts from the perishing contents a single ear of tasseled corn and two eggs. He had thought corn would be a good idea a week ago, but he doesn't know how long to boil it for. Could he boil it with the eggs? Heck, he wasn't even sure how long to boil eggs!

May as well ask Google. He knows everything.

Little Fritterface

I figured it was time for the announcement, since he was born 3 weeks ago tomorrow. I can't believe that much time has gone by already. This is our Little Fritterface! He's a very sweet baby who likes to be on Mommy as much as possible, which makes doing anything computer-related not very easy. However, he is completely worth it! We all are totally and completely in love! His birth was fast, intense, and miraculous. He was watched over as he was in the process of being born, that's for sure. I hope to get his birth story written soon, but for now I thought I'd put up a couple of pictures. The first two were taken the day he was born. Princess is holding him in the second picture. He was 6 days old in the third picture. Welcome to the world, my sweet little guy!

I'm Giving Birth to a Monkey

I've been terrible about posting, mostly because I haven't had anything that isn't depressing to write about. I don't like to write pity posts, they make me squirmy when they're my own. So, because everything is pretty much the same old thing, I haven't bothered. I kind of disappeared from Blogdom entirely for a long time. There have been bright spots, but I think "I should blog that" and poof, they're gone. I have no brains left, they exited my fingers. I started laughing at myself when I dropped about 5 things in 8 minutes while cleaning in the kitchen. Getting down to the floor to pick anything up is a beast. Thankfully I've perfected the art of picking up stuff with my toes.

My week goes : Non-stress test on Tuesday, Biophysical Profile (special ultrasound) on Friday, doctor's appointment after. Then anything else I'm supposed to do between. But I'm getting down to the wire, so I thought I'd post an update if anyone else is still out there. ("Hello-o-o-o-o"I think there's an echo in here!)

I really wish I could wait until this baby is ready to come on his own, but because of my diabetes I can't. Thankfully drinking tons of water helps my blood pressure (it goes up when I swell), so that's still ok for now. The nausea I can handle a few more weeks, as well as feeling like a lumbering tortoise. However, this little stinker is bound and determined to make it difficult. He's a trapeze artist already! I can picture him in there, using his umbilical cord as a swing to flip from side to side. Little monkey.

I must have a uterus the size of an elephant. Really. Otherwise how can he go from breech a couple of weeks ago, to head down the next day, to breech, to transverse head on left facing up on Tuesday, to transverse head on right facing down today at 38 weeks 1 day? He's having a grand old time at his poor mother's expense. You would think that with me having diabetes he would be big enough to not be able to do somersaults. Either I've controlled it even better than I've thought, or you could hold the Olympic swimming competitions in there.

My dr wants to do an external version on Tuesday morning, because she thinks as soon as I get some pressure down there from his head, BAM, I'll go on my own. I'm not too keen on versions because they can be risky, but she thinks it will take hardly any pressure to turn him at all. I won't need any meds or anything, just monitoring. Plus, if he doesn't turn and I go on my own it would be an automatic c-section anyway. Also, I guess it's good that he has been turning, which means there's still play in the cord and such. I think it would be different if he had been in the same place for ages. I bet he'll flip right back afterward though. He moved when I came home and lay on my bed. Maybe he'll be nice to his mama or the threat of a version will make him go head down by Tuesday.

Right now I just want to head for the hills, find a quiet cave and sob. Pregnancy hormones are pretty primal. At least I have quite a story to hold over this little guy's head when he's older! "When I was pregnant with you, I had to go through blah, blah, blah, blah...so you OWE me!" Hahaha.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I guess this really wasn't a happy post after all. I promise to do better next time! I'll end on a high note.

C# seems appropriate.